Photo by Martino Pietropoli
Nothing is worse than feeling lost. When you really don’t know anymore what to do and where to begin. You only know you feel terrible and you’d love to change the situation. But how? You just can’t see it.
When this is you, you’re probably stuck in a negative perspective. A perspective is a viewpoint including certain judgements about a situation, others and/or your own part in it. These are like mental blinders that narrow your view into a tunnel vision. As a result, you can only see the hopeless black end of the tunnel. You feel lost.
Let me give you an example. Imagine you’ve lost your job due to Covid19. After sending out a dozen application letters, you were selected for a role that you are absolutely thrilled about. You made it until the final round together with one other candidate. Unfortunately for you, the other person gets the job. Now it’s easy to fall into negative thought patterns and get stuck in a perspective that is dragging you down:
Perspective: I am a loser.
“I suck. This was my dream job and I messed it up. Why didn’t I tell them about this one project I have done? I will never get this opportunity again. Opportunities like these are rare.”
Perspective: the world is unfair, I am a victim.
“The world sucks. Covid is terrible and taking down the economy and with it my chances of finding a job. It’s not fair. And how come even Jack found a new position? I always performed better than him.”
Uff… you probably see how this way of thinking is not going to help you. From this negative place it’s impossible to see opportunity. All your energy goes into pouting. If we take exactly the same scenario, but now look at it from a more positive perspective, you will see that you could also spend your energy on something that might actually serve you.
Perspective: I am silver.
“I made it to the last two applicants. That means I am already on the stage of winners. Next time I will win gold! Let’s see what else is out there. Maybe I could even check with the recruiter if she knows about any similar roles. I’ve learned that my passion is clearly pushing me in the direction of working in healthcare. Let’s see who else in my network I could approach for a role in this industry.”
Perspective: the world is impacted, I can contribute for good.
“What an interesting time to live in. It makes sense that it’s a bit harder to find a new job now. I am sure it will get better. Let’s use this time to contribute my skills to a solution for good. I can join this interesting volunteer project and also develop my leadership skills further. Plus, it’s related to healthcare, so it will increase my chances in this industry.”
Although the situation is exactly the same, the two positive perspectives will make you feel better, more in charge of your life and they will open you up to positive action. The negative perspectives keep you stuck and feeling lost.
No matter how bad the circumstances, it’s our own perspectives about them that really drag us down. You too can train your mind to change towards a more positive and helpful way of thinking, feeling, and acting in any situation. Our brain tends to automatically pick a certain primitive response, which is not always the most helpful one. Through coaching, I can help you become more aware of these patterns. You learn to intercept your brains’ automatic response and choose a more positive perspective instead. Curious? I invite you to book a free SAMPLE SESSION and experience it yourself!
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